Aren't attachments a scary little thingy?
The more you get attached to something, the harder it will be for you to let go. Whatever it is, you name it; books, a certain piece of clothing (you're gonna say goodbye to it eventually because face it, you're gonna get fat) dogs, cats...human beings. The latter is the hardest form of 'things' to say goodbye to.
When you bid farewell to your dog, no matter how adorably cute he is, the best he could do is to hold you tight with his tiny paws and look at you with puppy eyes questioningly. Whilst that's really a heartbreaking image, it is much much worse when you tell someone goodbye. It doesn't even have to a best friend; it could be your foster parents during a homestay, could be the nice old gardener who's been tending your house but passes away, it could be anyone. That's still the "easy" kind of goodbyes, though. The keyword here is 'comfort'. Whenever you feel comfortable with someone or something, it's gonna be hard as hell trying to wave goodbye to them. And you will eventually have to say goodbye to them, because you can't be with someone forever. There's that certain aspect called death- but other than that, it could also be other reasons like moving far away out of the country, fading feelings, illness, and a lot more.
If you're experiencing it, well, tough luck, buddy. But in my opinion, everyone has gone through that phase at least once in their lives. Loving something too much that you're scared to let go. You're scared of what's gonna happen to them but even more, much more, you're scared of what's gonna happen to you when they're gone.
This does not necessarily mean you gotta bridge yourself from them. Just because you're scared of getting too attached, too comfortable, and too scared of letting go, you force yourself to like them less. First, I don't think that's possible, and second, I am all for 'live your life day by day' crap. Don't think too much of something, you know? Tomorrow's just another day and we'll see what happens, so if I'm gonna laugh my head off all day today just because I feel like it, who cares? If you wanna inch yourself closer to that person today, why not? Thinking wayyy forward to the future can be frustrating. We already know that when we're old, we're gonna have heaping problems that's gonna suck all our fun moments away. Welcome, insecurities.
So if we will be frustrated in the future and we're also feeling like it now, at the present, then when the hell can we have that fun? Are you really gonna sit back and watch your life pass by, full of insecurities and listening to other people's decision rather than making your own, only to regret it when you grow old and grey, sitting on a rocking chair?
You're gonna turn out to be such a boring person and sorry, but I don't make friends with boring people.
That's part of the reason why I said on my earlier post that you should make the most out of your day, one by one. Starting tomorrow, what do you say? You wanna go backpacking across Bangkok or Prague or Peru or whatever the hell people go backpacking nowadays, then do it. Don't listen to that uptight friend of yours who said backpacking's dangerous and you could get eaten by mountain lions or get stabbed somehwere in a dangerous city.
So what? People die anyway. *shoot* does happen, you know.
Wait this reminds me- in the place I'm interning right now, I have the responsibility to write daily summaries of a client's news in local media. For example, my client is McD (wow, think how many free burgers I could get if that were true) so if there's any news related to the junkfood industry in newspapers, I take it out and summarize them in english. The client in the company is in the health industry so there are millions of strange terms about medical stuff that I never heard before. One day I had to translate this:
"Penyakit ini dapat menular melalui ludah dan kotoran manusia."
And the first translation that entered my mind automatically was "This disease spreads through saliva and human crap."
Which was of course, not only wrong, it was ridiculous. So I looked it up the internet and saw one of the coolest terms ever for it: "human feces." Feces. Of course!
So from now on I'm going to replace the four-letter word starting with S and ending with T , with the word feces.
Feces happens. I'm feeling feces-y today.
Nice.
I'm already a lot more intelligent now, huh?
I'm cold and hungry as hell and my brain's swirling, so mind the weirdness. I'd better get back on the internship report !