Friday, April 24, 2009

Aren't attachments a scary little thingy?
The more you get attached to something, the harder it will be for you to let go. Whatever it is, you name it; books, a certain piece of clothing (you're gonna say goodbye to it eventually because face it, you're gonna get fat) dogs, cats...human beings. The latter is the hardest form of 'things' to say goodbye to.
When you bid farewell to your dog, no matter how adorably cute he is, the best he could do is to hold you tight with his tiny paws and look at you with puppy eyes questioningly. Whilst that's really a heartbreaking image, it is much much worse when you tell someone goodbye. It doesn't even have to a best friend; it could be your foster parents during a homestay, could be the nice old gardener who's been tending your house but passes away, it could be anyone. That's still the "easy" kind of goodbyes, though. The keyword here is 'comfort'. Whenever you feel comfortable with someone or something, it's gonna be hard as hell trying to wave goodbye to them. And you will eventually have to say goodbye to them, because you can't be with someone forever. There's that certain aspect called death- but other than that, it could also be other reasons like moving far away out of the country, fading feelings, illness, and a lot more.
If you're experiencing it, well, tough luck, buddy. But in my opinion, everyone has gone through that phase at least once in their lives. Loving something too much that you're scared to let go. You're scared of what's gonna happen to them but even more, much more, you're scared of what's gonna happen to you when they're gone.
This does not necessarily mean you gotta bridge yourself from them. Just because you're scared of getting too attached, too comfortable, and too scared of letting go, you force yourself to like them less. First, I don't think that's possible, and second, I am all for 'live your life day by day' crap. Don't think too much of something, you know? Tomorrow's just another day and we'll see what happens, so if I'm gonna laugh my head off all day today just because I feel like it, who cares? If you wanna inch yourself closer to that person today, why not? Thinking wayyy forward to the future can be frustrating. We already know that when we're old, we're gonna have heaping problems that's gonna suck all our fun moments away. Welcome, insecurities.
So if we will be frustrated in the future and we're also feeling like it now, at the present, then when the hell can we have that fun? Are you really gonna sit back and watch your life pass by, full of insecurities and listening to other people's decision rather than making your own, only to regret it when you grow old and grey, sitting on a rocking chair?
You're gonna turn out to be such a boring person and sorry, but I don't make friends with boring people.
That's part of the reason why I said on my earlier post that you should make the most out of your day, one by one. Starting tomorrow, what do you say? You wanna go backpacking across Bangkok or Prague or Peru or whatever the hell people go backpacking nowadays, then do it. Don't listen to that uptight friend of yours who said backpacking's dangerous and you could get eaten by mountain lions or get stabbed somehwere in a dangerous city.
So what? People die anyway. *shoot* does happen, you know.
Wait this reminds me- in the place I'm interning right now, I have the responsibility to write daily summaries of a client's news in local media. For example, my client is McD (wow, think how many free burgers I could get if that were true) so if there's any news related to the junkfood industry in newspapers, I take it out and summarize them in english. The client in the company is in the health industry so there are millions of strange terms about medical stuff that I never heard before. One day I had to translate this:
"Penyakit ini dapat menular melalui ludah dan kotoran manusia."
And the first translation that entered my mind automatically was "This disease spreads through saliva and human crap."
Which was of course, not only wrong, it was ridiculous. So I looked it up the internet and saw one of the coolest terms ever for it: "human feces." Feces. Of course!
So from now on I'm going to replace the four-letter word starting with S and ending with T , with the word feces.
Feces happens. I'm feeling feces-y today.
Nice.
I'm already a lot more intelligent now, huh?
I'm cold and hungry as hell and my brain's swirling, so mind the weirdness. I'd better get back on the internship report !

Thursday, April 23, 2009

the man who can't be moved

I am a very patient person. When I want to be. Which is most of the times.
Seriously. I consider myself as kind, even. I can't even say no to others sometimes. If I absolutely have to, I will deliver it in a way that wouldn't hurt their feelings. Because I tend to put myself in their position, so I know I have to be careful with what I'm saying or doing.

This morning, I wanted to smash people's heads through the glass windows and let them dangle until the next train comes up.

This was not a good morning start for me. Here is what I do every morning, just so you understand the point of my morning madness: I wake up at five-fifteen on the dot, take a bath, get dressed and stuff, and leave for the station at six-twenty. Train leaves at six-forty, arrives at Sudirman on ten past seven, and I continue my walking journey to the office. Every morning, I arrive on the doorstep of B-M exactly at seven-twenty five.
If you know me really well, you'd know that the one thing I hate the most is change of plans. Being uncoordinated, unorganized, just a tick of minute late- I hate that. It ruins my schedule. My best friends know that all too well, and that issue has caused many arguments between me and nugi as well.
Don't worry, you're not the only one; everyone thinks I'm insane.
Anyways.
It all began this morning at the station, where was an announcement over the speakers: that most parts of the Sudirman train's AC has broken and we would appreciate if it the dear passengers look out for themselves and for each other as well, sorry for the inconvenience, bla bla bla. So the train came along..
and it was packed like hell. Turns out that the AC has broken down in coach 1 and 2 only, so everyone rushed to coach 5 and 6, where I'm usually at. Darn it. It was so jam-packed with people, though thankfully no body odor emergency, but I was feeling rather sleepy today so I expected an empty seat. Yeah right- I couldn't even see the people sitting because of bodies blocking my view, let alone secure a free seat.
So I just took a deep breath and forced myself between all those people, clutching tight to my bags, looking around for an unoccupied handle bar for me to hold on. Thankfully, there was one in my left so I gripped tight as if my life depended on it. During the first few minutes people were rocking from side to side and I was so annoyed, I couldn't do anything. I just looked over a man's shoulder (he was the one I told you about that looked like Monster Inc's vicious snake) and read the newspaper he was holding. Free news, anyone?
And then, the train stopped at the first station and let a few people off. Phew, I thought, now I can move more freely. I shuffled to the left and finally could have a little space of my own. It was still packed, though. Women were still forced to lean against the doors and else. When I looked to my right, that was the second strike in my morning madness.
There was this middle-aged guy who held on to two handle bars, all for himself. I mean, dude, can't you take a look around and see how many people needed to hold on to that? Some were even gripping the rails in the overhead 'cabin' for safety and here he was, completely healthy, completely well and completely idiotic, hanging on to two.
I hate people like that.
I had a plan in my head like a lightbulb going off. I was in a bad mood, remember, so I wasn't in the mood to just stand around doing nothing. So what I did was, I shoved him on purpose.
Haha.
Well not very hard, of course. I did it subtly. I intentionally moved noisily and shoved left and right like a brat, knocking him forward and making him squirm uncomfortably. Was he annoyed? Yes. So what did it mean?
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I wanted to slap the back of his head, seriously.
Anyways, I got off the train (it was delayed, too, so grrrrr) and when I looked at my watch, it was already seven-twenty. I should be in the office by then! So I speed-walked out of the station, through the throng of people, when suddenly I was walking behind a very, very, very....slow...woman.
Strike three.
If it was an old woman, trust me, I'd understand. But all i could see from behind was her long, butt-length hair, jeans and shirt, which meant she was young and healthy and completely normal. She was walking so slowly as if on a runway, seriously. She was strutting left and right, swaying a little.
I was so pissed off. I imagined that maybe , seen from the front, she was a man in disguise, like those Thailand transvestites, where the women look handsome and the men look so pretty. I finally rushed past her and when I walked near the bridge, there was another woman -this time older- walking so frustratingly slow, enjoyin the scenery in her left and right.
Let me tell you something.
One, there is a certain reason why we take the 6.40 train. We did not wake up at five a.m. everyday to enjoy sceneries and breathe the city's fresh air. Now, I don't know how you do it in Thailand but in here, we try to get in before our office hour.
Two, you wanna go on a tour? Charter a damn bus.
I finally arrived at the office at 7.36 ish, almost fifteen minutes later than my planned daily schedule.
I'd better get some Richeese or someone's gonna get their head bit off today.
Speaking of biting people's heads off, I have less and less motivation for this leadership project. The team's getting on my nerves.
Oh, on a friendlier note, I love that song-the title of this post. It's performed by The Scripts and me and Illa are going nuts over the lyrics currently. Google it and you'll see why :)

I'll post later- gotta do something.
I hope your morning's a lot better than mine.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

a bright and early post

Hi. I have done my tasks before deadline and officially became a geek. And incredibly proud of it.
There is a black cat hanging out around my house, ever since we moved in. =S
If I'm not mistaken, even my mom or my sis thought they'd seen it inside the house one time but turned out there was nothing there. Creepy.
Anyways, I can't wait until January 2010 =P I really really hope everything will work out the way we plan it, aminnnnnn. Because there's a good quote from a book I read years ago and stuck by me all these times: "You wanna make God laugh? Make a plan."
The book was called Changing Emma or something, about a skeptical family who won a million-pounds lottery. I think the quote is telling us that humans should never expect anything because things so very rarely go the way we plan it.
Nice.
Well, I've had enough with expectations anyway. I've learned that we could hope, but we shouldn't expect. Do you know the difference? You know, like keeping your head up but your feet still planted on the ground.
My current read: Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet In Heaven. Hahaha.
I don't know why I'm laughing, really. It's just that so many people say their lives and their point of views changed from reading it. Of course I am not underestimating Mitch's masterpieces-who the heck am I, right. But I just thought that the book was so philosophical so I never cared enough to read it, let alone buy one.
But last week, I did. And I have to say, the first page already gripped me.
I won't spoil the story, I'm pretty sure most of you have read it by now anyways, and I've only reached the beginning so I can't really say anything but I can tell you this: it is a book of quotes. Not cheesy one-liners, but deep quotes that require you to read the sentence twice of three times in order to really understand it and go "oooooooh." And then you automatically relate it to your own personal experience and your eyes widen and for the second time in five seconds you say "oooooooh," now you get it.
Anyways. Today is Earth Day, right? I am all about supporting the environment, really, and I wanna do more than just joining a group on Facebook. It is kinda sad that nobody gives a flying rat about global warming, don't you think? I mean sure, you are all about protesting against it but what are you doing in actions, really? The May edition of TeenVogue has an article about how to help by doing the simplest things. Things you can do at home, at school, at work, while shopping, and else. It's pretty good and useful. :)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I love my new phone.
Not because it's currently the so-called (overrated) hot piece of gadget in the country, or because of its push-email specs and other high-tech stuff that's too long to write here, but because of the messenger feature. I mean, now I can very much openly talk about anything and i mean anything with my friends. You know how much I love talking about unimportant stuff, right? (hence this playground stuff) So being able to do it every hour of the day excites me.
I mean, I can totally talk with the girls about all kinds of stuff, from asking for resto recommendation to updating each other what to wear on weekend nights, to simply talking about the weather, our dreams, our 'what-are-you-doing' status every ten minutes, our wishes for the future.......the possibility is endless. It is the best companion whenever you're bored, ill, or doing the number two. hahah.
And the best part is, it's free.
Anyways. Jeez I really am not in the mood to study !! Remember I was supposed to make the speech draft for leadership? Yeah that one's out the window. I want Richeese.
I can't believe I'm leaving this work place in a few weeks. =S
Newsflash: 7-11 is entering the Indonesian market. A gain or a loss, what do you think? All I know is my friends would be ecstatic for the sour candies. Will they have Slurpees though? :D
Gosh I'm cold and sleepy.
Okay I'd better really start making the speech, or else nobody will have anything to say on the project this Saturday.
..which is not such a bad idea, come to think of it.

eyesores

There's something freaky going on with my eyes. Eye, to be exact, because it only happens to the right one. Every morning when I wake up and open them, there's a painful jolt that forces me to shut it close immediately but when it's shut, it hurts like hell. So I opened them, and I thought i was going blind because there were lights coming from all over the place, so I'm confused, really, whether to open or close them. =S I've been experiencing it for a week now.
As I went to the bathroom, I had to walk really slowly because I depended on the walls and still did not dare to open my eyes. Finally after I took a bath, it's all normal again. Although yesterday at class I suddenly couldn't see people and things very well--they were kind of blurry and funny-looking :D So tomorrow I guess I'll have to go check them at the hospital with my mom. This is crazy. I freak out easily when it comes to eyes, so I can't imagine how tomorrow would go. :(
So, another train ride this morning. New members of the family, woo! There was a man that looked exactly like the snake monster in Monsters Inc.- you know, the evil one that could be invisible whener he wants? Google it if you forgot. The man does look evil. :( But he's nice, just quiet. Only minds his own business. Ooh , and there was a Japanese-looking guy that liked to spit into the railways. Disgusting. Let's name him Mr...Hibachi? Does that sound Jap enough? I hope that's not the name of an electronic brand. There was a newbie today, literally a newbie, not a newcomer in my train family tree. He 's middle-aged and he asked the man next to him, 'excuse me, this is sudirman station, is it correct?'
HA! I wanted to stand up and show him off, no, sir,this is the Karet one and Sudirman is next. Yes, I do know all these things because I am an expert in train stations now and yes i am being an ass for it.
A little annoying, i know, especially the fact that the guy could have been me a few months back; looking lost and unbalanced and not knowing how to stand properly inside a train.
Anyway.
I really am in absolutely no mood of doing my internship report. The papers for seminar is due next week and I have to come up with pages and pages of keywords explanation, I mean, what? Not to mention the demanding people on my leadership team- and it's due this Sat.
Bummer. People just don't know how to have fun anymore. I want a little undwind-ing time, probably dinner with the girls? Maybe next friday. We'll explore another new place, yay!
Well, I guess I'm off writing a speech of "healthy kids" for leadership class. Don't ask.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

happy 22nd, you :)

Finally the big day's here- it's my boyfriend's birthday today so yaaaayy! :D
I was busy searching for presents since week ago, and finalyl found the perfect one in Grand Indonesia. I planned everything perfectly, down to the wrapper and the extra little gifts that accompany the big one.
Man, I love giving gifts.
Usually I'm a lot more prepared than this, though. It's just I couldn't find the time to go gift-hunting what with internship and stuff. =S But still. I love going out of my way to give presents for people I care about. All those hard works pay off when you see their expressions as they open the gift =)
Anyways, how's everyone doing? Btw now you can only post comments when you click on my post's subject there in the left >:( When you see it here, you can't see the "a penny for your thoughts?" part, can you? You can only see it if you click on the separate posts there on the left, grr. I will work on it soon.
My mom's been kind of sick :( So she's sleeping a lot now.
Hey I wanna travel abroaaad! I miss the feeling of waking up in a nice hotel room and the only thing to worry about is when breakfast time is gonna end. And then put on some sandals and shorts (well it depends where you are, actually) and get out of the hotel only to be greeted by impressive scenery and lots of cute shops and tons of new foods to chew.
Anybody wanna come? :D