Isn't it funny how when you hear someone pass away, you say 'innalillahi' and that's it ? Isn't it funny that you never stop for a moment to think about how that person's mother, father, siblings, friends, lover, must have felt? What are they doing now that the person they loved, the person they used to see everyday is gone? Isn't it funny how you never think about how much a simple death affects everybody?
When it's your friend who passes away, it's different.
I met Jade on our first day in UPH because we were in the same class. The first thing I noticed about her was how carefree and how beautiful this American-Balinese girl looked. We got to talking and I was impressed by her music and movies taste because we had quite a lot in common. The right word to describe her would be unique. Unusual. And always, always in a good mood. You just couldn't help liking the girl-her smile was infectious, she always bounced here and there, and literally never got anything bad to say to anybody. Every guy thought she was the prettiest girl in campus and girls wanted to be her. To be able to always look so put together and so effortlessly cool in any style of clothing she wore.
Despite the fact that we grew apart and hung out with different circles, I kept in touch with her because she also majored in PR and we had a few same classes. She would ask if I were still with Nugi and expressed her awe saying that wow, you guys have been on for so long, wasn't it only your first month with him when we met in 2005? Stuff like that.
You would never see her frown. She would always greet people here and there, flying to one table to another in Benton, spreading her charms unintentionally. Always being incredibly nice and helpful.
Which was probably why hundreds of close friends came by to her funeral on Sunday night.
I still find this unbelievable. Why Jade? Why take the most vibrant girl in campus-the one that was so full of life ?
Isn't it funny how one day you're still talking and laughing with one friend and the next day you're talking about her in past tense?
I dreaded writing this post, since my eyes still felt warm everytime I remember staring at her beautiful, peaceful face lying in the casket. I can't imagine how her family and boyfriend must have felt.
It was a grey and cloudy day today at Karawaci. We sat at Benton feeling something was missing and we talked, we laughed, we cried, remembering her. One friend of mine even said that in any minute, Jade was going to spring up and yell "Gotcha!" and we would all be relieved that it all had just been a nightmare.
But it wasn't. And she didnt.
A fatal car crash had taken her beautiful soul away at such a young age. She never even got the chance to finish school, for God's sake. I wish nothing but the best for her up there. As my friend said, we all should dry our tears because she's in a better condition right now and that she would have wanted us to smile.
Ila said something to me today that made my mind kind of freeze and think. So this is what it feels like to have lost a friend, she said. And the worst part is, we're bound to experience this over and over gaain, as one by one, the people that we love is taken away from us. One funeral after another. One memory after another.
Would we have enough tears? For all our loved ones? Would we ever get used to this? Should we not have so many close friends, so we wouldn't have to go to so many painful funerals?
Everything seems so little and unimportant right now, after what I experienced Sunday night. People breaking up, people worrying about where they should go on weekends, wondering what to wear...hey, there's a whole other life out there.
Jade, if you only knew how many lives you touched, how many people flocked to the funeral, how many prayers were with you during your coma. But in a way, maybe she did. All my thoughts and prayers are with her family and loved ones right now. The expression on her mother's face was the first scene that made me break down in tears at the hospital. No mother should ever bury her own child. Ever. Nobody deserves that.
I'd prefer closing this post with a positive note. All of you who's reading this, please be thankful for what you have. That your family is complete. That you have your bestfriends surrounding you at the moment. And one more thing; have you been craving to try something in the past few years? That new restauant, those bungee-jumping stuff, that backpacking trip you've always dreamed going with friends or partner? Do it now.
If there's anything to learn, it's that you'll never know what's gonna happen to you in a matter of seconds. Life's too short for second-guessing, for "if only"s, for "I wish"s.
Always drive safe, everyone. Please, take care of yourselves- for your sake and everyone else's.
Goodbye, Jade, we'll see you up there one day, yes? =)
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