OK so here's the case.
I don't like the word 'traumatic'. It screams regret, pain, sadness, and all the bad stuff. I don't like bad stuff. So I don't know how to sum up this issue without having to develop it in another case example.
Imagine a good day.
Great, sunny, incredible day with blue skies and little kids playing and smiles on everyone's faces. You wake up, with a gut instinct that it's gonna be a good day indeed, that everything will finally go according to plan. That your deepest wishes are about to come true.
You put on your best white shirt and leave the house, singing all the way, smiling to everyone passing you by. You stop at a street cart and bought a yummy strawberry ice cream in a cone. You are heading to the bank to withdraw money, all of it, because you wanna buy a house. You've been planning to buy it since you saw it five years ago. It costs US3000 (ssht, this is just an example) and now you finally have US3100 in the bank, and you don't care that you're almost spending all of it because you've been waiting for this for as long as you can remember.
You step into the bank, greeted warmly by the old man, the guard officer. He kindly directed you where to take a number and wait in the lounge. You sit down, still smiling, still happy, with your leg bouncing. You finally get your turn and receive your US3100 with a huge grin on your face. You even shake the teller's hand and wish her a good day. You turn around, money envelope in hand, thinking what color of wallpaper will match the kitchen in your new house.
And then, you get robbed.
And then, three masked gunmen burst into the bank and held a gun to your face.
In less than five minutes, all your dreams in the past five years vanish.
It happened in such a quick motion, so unexpected, so unpredictable, so shocking that it gives you the most unimaginable pain. Not physical; worse. You are physically completely fine, the gunmen didn't hurt you, but it took away a small part that means the world to you. That goes far beyond 'just cash'. That cash was, in some way, was your future.
So you spend the rest of your life trying not to relish that experience, right? You become so careful in every small thing you do, so closed off, so hesitant because you're traumatic. Because you're so damn scared that it's gonna happen to you again. You only need that kind of experience on in your lfietime, thanks.
What's worse is, you start to lose trust in all banks--not only that particular one where you got robbed.
You become negative, pessimistic on ALL banks, certain that you're just gonna get robbed there anyway, so what's the point of trusting? What's the point of storing your savings if you're just gonna lose it in the end anyway?
What's worse is, not only you lose trust in all banks and you don't wanna save anymore, you also become so fearful and cautious. You can't even bear to put on that white shirt you wore on 'the day'. You don't want any reminders of that particular day.
Long story short, if you bump into any sign, any indication, any reminder of that day, you freak out.
No matter how happy your mood is, when you suddenly see smilar signs of what happened in that day, if you suddenly pass that nice old guard officer, your stomach takes a deep plunge and you become quiet again. 'The day' suddenly haunts you again, shutting you up and out from the outside world. Any reminder of that day scares the hell out of you. You're suddenly scared of sunshine because there was sun on that day. Scared of buying strawberry ice cream because you bought strawberry ice cream on that day.
You know what happens next? You spend the rest of your life trying your best to stay the hell away from the memory of the incident and trying your best to prevent it from happening again; no matter what it takes.
You know what happens next? Even the smallest incident that reminds you of it, hurts. You build up your walls to avoid disappointment.
Goodbye, trust. Welcome, insecurity.
Do you wanna know the scariest part of it all ? It's when the walls are slowly down again. When you start trusting again. When you take a deep breath and start putting on that white shirt again.
Because when you're prepared to start trusting someone, there's always a chance it's gonna be shattered to pieces anytime without warning.
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