I will soon post the details of the best trip I've ever had in my life.
Soon. Very soon.
Still knackered and too much in joy. Sigh. I never want to go back here and face reality. Dramatic, but true. I love foreign countries.
Details soon.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
a routine that KILLS.
If she didn't swerve right to avoid the lady with a stroller, she would hit the beggar on the street.
If she ran the red light and marched straight instead, she would hit a fruit kiosk.
If she backed up her car a little, the VW behind her would honk angrily.
If she used her brother's motorbike to avoid getting into a car in the first place, her brother would be pissed.
If she decided to walk on foot, endless lines of vehicles will screech to a halt and honk in frustration as it is a highway.
If she decided not to get out of the house at all, she will not get any of her tasks done.
Even if she parked her car safely in front of the supermarket, looked left and right to see if she'd hurt somebody, and entered the market with a huge relief of breath, the car turns out to be blocking an ambulance carrying a woman in labor, trying to get by.
Another disappointed person, another day to live by.
The way she sees it, there are only two options left. The first one is to let out the emotions she's been holding for the past 100 years and breathe fire into the small, unimportant, ruthless, heartless, selfish people who had underestimated her all her life. Crash their cars, their soul, their minds. She had to turn right to avoid an old man walking with a stick--so what? Screw little ms.goody two shoes. She slammed the wheel right and smiled.
Oops, there's a pair of young couples walking hand in hand and too in love to see that a car was heading their way-not my fault, the woman shrugs. Another cry for help, another satisfied smile. She lit up a gas station just because SHE COULD. She throws rocks and stones to an elementary school just. because.she. could. Because she's had it with people walking all over her.
At least it's better than the other option. Which is trying to please everyone. Which is smiling and nodding solemnly and saying "I'm Fine" so often that it became a mantra for her. Which is agreeing with everyone's opinions while she wants to scream inside. Which is letting everyone walk all over her.
Letting someone walk all over you will eventually kill you, literally.
If she ran the red light and marched straight instead, she would hit a fruit kiosk.
If she backed up her car a little, the VW behind her would honk angrily.
If she used her brother's motorbike to avoid getting into a car in the first place, her brother would be pissed.
If she decided to walk on foot, endless lines of vehicles will screech to a halt and honk in frustration as it is a highway.
If she decided not to get out of the house at all, she will not get any of her tasks done.
Even if she parked her car safely in front of the supermarket, looked left and right to see if she'd hurt somebody, and entered the market with a huge relief of breath, the car turns out to be blocking an ambulance carrying a woman in labor, trying to get by.
Another disappointed person, another day to live by.
The way she sees it, there are only two options left. The first one is to let out the emotions she's been holding for the past 100 years and breathe fire into the small, unimportant, ruthless, heartless, selfish people who had underestimated her all her life. Crash their cars, their soul, their minds. She had to turn right to avoid an old man walking with a stick--so what? Screw little ms.goody two shoes. She slammed the wheel right and smiled.
Oops, there's a pair of young couples walking hand in hand and too in love to see that a car was heading their way-not my fault, the woman shrugs. Another cry for help, another satisfied smile. She lit up a gas station just because SHE COULD. She throws rocks and stones to an elementary school just. because.she. could. Because she's had it with people walking all over her.
At least it's better than the other option. Which is trying to please everyone. Which is smiling and nodding solemnly and saying "I'm Fine" so often that it became a mantra for her. Which is agreeing with everyone's opinions while she wants to scream inside. Which is letting everyone walk all over her.
Letting someone walk all over you will eventually kill you, literally.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
we'll dine on city lights
I have too many things I want to write in here, since it's been ages !! But first off, let's plan our wedding day.
Yes, I am that random. Sometimes.
Okay so everyone must have their own dream day wedding. If not, you are one very pathetic human being with extreme lack of imagination.
I don't care how weird it is, how out-of -this-world (outer space ceremony, anyone?) or how tacky it is, I appreciate your ideas. There's no rules on this. No budget limits. No place too far. I salute you for daring to dream big. Well this is very Dr Phil, so let's just cut to the chase.
Let's start with me. I want a double wedding.
First is a private, intimate wedding in a remote island (Or Greece. Italy. A secluded island. I will just keep it to myself, you nosy rat.) Anyway. I will fly my family and closest friends into the island, all accomodations paid for (thats right, you'd better start sucking up to me from now to get a ticket.) It will just be a plain and simple ceremony and still traditional and everything. It will only last a day and then we'll fly back to Jakarta.
To ensure that all my friends and relatives will come, I'll just do the second on in this big ol' city. This is gonna be a huge one (not with gold decoration or anything Liberace, dont worry) but I want traditional dances and musical performance to be there. That's what I mean with huge and grand. I want it to be a festivity. Doesn't have to be in the city's top high-rise building (I've gotten incredibly poor due to that first wedding ceremony, remember?) but I want everyone to enjoy it, to be pleased, to have a good time. I love playing host. And I think it's not asking too much that I want all my beloved guests to have the time of their life in my most important event of all to host =)
All the foods will be cooked by my mom or her helpers. Authentic Indonesian cuisines, of course, but with International desserts bar. Of course. And I know I won't have the first-dance tradition, but I want the singer to croon Van Morisson's Someone Like You all night long. You'll see why.
So here's a glimpse into my future:
By 27/28, I will have achieved eighty percent of what I've always dreamed of. I will be in New York, working in a top restaurant whilst taking culinary lessons. It is my second year in the city and I plan to go back to my home town for the first time ever, and for good, but not before my little trip with him. We plan to steal a quick holiday to....Hong Kong ? Singapore ? (It could even be Bandung, I don't care. just not in Jakarta yet. Let's just call it nameless.) He will visit me in NY first and we'll get to watch a cool concert first (The Strokes? Julian? Joshua Radin?) and then we'll fly home together.
In that nameless city, he will take me out for a casual dinner one night. We will chat about our lives, about what's been going on since I left, about how much I miss him and everything.
And then, out of the blue, he will propose.
I like the feeling of being so surprised and so in pleasure that I will have no words to describe. When I look at the ring, I'll smile. Not because it's embedded with gold and diamond, but because I once mentioned it to him that I like the type. It's simple, it's round, it's a ring. That;s it. But being a good guy, he always, always remembers what I like even though I said it a million light years ago.
Which is why I'll say yes.
And during his proposal, somehow, somewhere, we listen to Van Morrison's Someone Like You playing beautifully be it in the stereo or onstage. I don't quite know my obsession with that song, but I like the classical melody, the words fit, the voice soothing--it's a classic old song. And I will finally have that song dedicated to me, after all these years. Just by looking at him I'll know that he means it and we're going to do this and I'm the happiest girl alive and we're going to do this, this magical once-in-a-lifetime ceremony that every girl has been waiting for since the first time she laid her eyes on a wedding gown.
And then, afterwards, we'll have our own children, a set of boy-and-girl twins,with the cutest huge eyes and happy grins. I will take good care of them, I will love them like nobody else, I'll watch them grow, I'll stay at home while he works, but every weekend we'll have the family time to ourselves. When the children have grown up, I'll start working again and might even open a restaurant on my own, since I learned so much about it in NY. Friday will be my date time with him, our relaxing time to hang out with friends, catch dinner and movies, while Saturday and Sunday are officially declared as family time with the kids.
Okayyyy, time to snap back to reality.
In reality, I am stuck in my office, with a bad stomach-ache and therefore having trouble concentrating on work and writing this instead. In reality, I'm saving every penny, seeking for every opportunity for any possible chance that I might have a ticket out of here. Literally.
If you know me well, please come up to me in my wedding day and tell me to look up this blog. Whether any of my goals and dreams came true. Whether I'll get on that plane after all.
And be good. Who knows, maybe someday you'll receive an invitation to Maui for a private wedding on your doorstep one day. Or Greece. Or Carribean.
Yes, I am that random. Sometimes.
Okay so everyone must have their own dream day wedding. If not, you are one very pathetic human being with extreme lack of imagination.
I don't care how weird it is, how out-of -this-world (outer space ceremony, anyone?) or how tacky it is, I appreciate your ideas. There's no rules on this. No budget limits. No place too far. I salute you for daring to dream big. Well this is very Dr Phil, so let's just cut to the chase.
Let's start with me. I want a double wedding.
First is a private, intimate wedding in a remote island (Or Greece. Italy. A secluded island. I will just keep it to myself, you nosy rat.) Anyway. I will fly my family and closest friends into the island, all accomodations paid for (thats right, you'd better start sucking up to me from now to get a ticket.) It will just be a plain and simple ceremony and still traditional and everything. It will only last a day and then we'll fly back to Jakarta.
To ensure that all my friends and relatives will come, I'll just do the second on in this big ol' city. This is gonna be a huge one (not with gold decoration or anything Liberace, dont worry) but I want traditional dances and musical performance to be there. That's what I mean with huge and grand. I want it to be a festivity. Doesn't have to be in the city's top high-rise building (I've gotten incredibly poor due to that first wedding ceremony, remember?) but I want everyone to enjoy it, to be pleased, to have a good time. I love playing host. And I think it's not asking too much that I want all my beloved guests to have the time of their life in my most important event of all to host =)
All the foods will be cooked by my mom or her helpers. Authentic Indonesian cuisines, of course, but with International desserts bar. Of course. And I know I won't have the first-dance tradition, but I want the singer to croon Van Morisson's Someone Like You all night long. You'll see why.
So here's a glimpse into my future:
By 27/28, I will have achieved eighty percent of what I've always dreamed of. I will be in New York, working in a top restaurant whilst taking culinary lessons. It is my second year in the city and I plan to go back to my home town for the first time ever, and for good, but not before my little trip with him. We plan to steal a quick holiday to....Hong Kong ? Singapore ? (It could even be Bandung, I don't care. just not in Jakarta yet. Let's just call it nameless.) He will visit me in NY first and we'll get to watch a cool concert first (The Strokes? Julian? Joshua Radin?) and then we'll fly home together.
In that nameless city, he will take me out for a casual dinner one night. We will chat about our lives, about what's been going on since I left, about how much I miss him and everything.
And then, out of the blue, he will propose.
I like the feeling of being so surprised and so in pleasure that I will have no words to describe. When I look at the ring, I'll smile. Not because it's embedded with gold and diamond, but because I once mentioned it to him that I like the type. It's simple, it's round, it's a ring. That;s it. But being a good guy, he always, always remembers what I like even though I said it a million light years ago.
Which is why I'll say yes.
And during his proposal, somehow, somewhere, we listen to Van Morrison's Someone Like You playing beautifully be it in the stereo or onstage. I don't quite know my obsession with that song, but I like the classical melody, the words fit, the voice soothing--it's a classic old song. And I will finally have that song dedicated to me, after all these years. Just by looking at him I'll know that he means it and we're going to do this and I'm the happiest girl alive and we're going to do this, this magical once-in-a-lifetime ceremony that every girl has been waiting for since the first time she laid her eyes on a wedding gown.
And then, afterwards, we'll have our own children, a set of boy-and-girl twins,with the cutest huge eyes and happy grins. I will take good care of them, I will love them like nobody else, I'll watch them grow, I'll stay at home while he works, but every weekend we'll have the family time to ourselves. When the children have grown up, I'll start working again and might even open a restaurant on my own, since I learned so much about it in NY. Friday will be my date time with him, our relaxing time to hang out with friends, catch dinner and movies, while Saturday and Sunday are officially declared as family time with the kids.
Okayyyy, time to snap back to reality.
In reality, I am stuck in my office, with a bad stomach-ache and therefore having trouble concentrating on work and writing this instead. In reality, I'm saving every penny, seeking for every opportunity for any possible chance that I might have a ticket out of here. Literally.
If you know me well, please come up to me in my wedding day and tell me to look up this blog. Whether any of my goals and dreams came true. Whether I'll get on that plane after all.
And be good. Who knows, maybe someday you'll receive an invitation to Maui for a private wedding on your doorstep one day. Or Greece. Or Carribean.
Friday, November 13, 2009
and it rambles on while she covers her ears
Why do you choose the big bad wolf amongst a hundred pristine white sheeps?
Why do you feel guiltier killing a hopeless mice trapped with no power to do anything instead of killing a Labrador that bit your leg?
Why do you fall over and over to the same hole again even though a huge Caution board is right there near your feet?
Why do you hang your hopes up in the oak tree when you know it's gonna shake and rumble to the ground?
Why do you spell out your expectations in the night skies when you know it's just gonna be morning again in a few hours?
Why do you limit other people's dreams and hopes when you know it might as well be the cruelest thing for a human being to do?
Why do you smile while your insides freeze?
Why do you go out of your way to please the wrong people while the right ones quietly slip out the exit door?
Why do you need so much signs to tell you something you've secretly known throughout your whole life?
Why do you hesitate in doing something when you know it's gonna cause you an incredible state of regret in the end?
Why do you not hear me when I silently shout out to you?
Why do you refuse to admit that reading this post has caused your heart to flinch because you know some of it it happened to you?
Why do you feel guiltier killing a hopeless mice trapped with no power to do anything instead of killing a Labrador that bit your leg?
Why do you fall over and over to the same hole again even though a huge Caution board is right there near your feet?
Why do you hang your hopes up in the oak tree when you know it's gonna shake and rumble to the ground?
Why do you spell out your expectations in the night skies when you know it's just gonna be morning again in a few hours?
Why do you limit other people's dreams and hopes when you know it might as well be the cruelest thing for a human being to do?
Why do you smile while your insides freeze?
Why do you go out of your way to please the wrong people while the right ones quietly slip out the exit door?
Why do you need so much signs to tell you something you've secretly known throughout your whole life?
Why do you hesitate in doing something when you know it's gonna cause you an incredible state of regret in the end?
Why do you not hear me when I silently shout out to you?
Why do you refuse to admit that reading this post has caused your heart to flinch because you know some of it it happened to you?
Sunday, November 1, 2009
i know i'm in the mood to write
So it's no surprise that I moonlight as a shrink to my friends, right. They consider me as a 24-hour listener and advisor with a million ears to lend.
Which is fine by me; I enjoy that.
I suddenly remember a certain case where one of my close friends sat me down to talk about a particular topic. She has this...I don't know what you call it; an endless fling? They went out once but broke up but still maintain good friends now. Like, really good friends. I know them both well since we all hang out together but the guy's older than us.
My friend told me how she recently had a serious talk with the guy about the future and they ended up making a promise: if by the time she turns 30 they aren't seeing anyone, they'll get married. Kinda like Chandler and Monica in an old episode Friends, where he said "If you won't be married by 30, what do you say we live together?" and she responded, "Why wouldn't I be married by the time I'm 30?"
And Chandler replied "No...I meant hypothetically...", to which she said, "Okay, well, hypothetically, why wouldn't I be married by the time I'm 30?"
Or something like that. It always made me laugh.
Well anyways.
This friend of mine was kind of ecstatic about her and her guy's decision--because I could tell they still feel something so strongly about each other. But I did not fully share her excitement.
What do you think?
When a guy proposes that to you, should you feel flattered or offended? In a way, yes,you feel relieved. The guy you really care about has no plan to abandon you, not even in the future. No matter what happens, you will never be living a lonely life surrounded by forty cats. No mattr how hard you screw up,someone's gonna be there to take care of you. That must be a very nice feeling indeed.
But in a way, Monica was right. Why wouldn't you be married by the time you're 30? Are you so undesirable that you repel man from marrying you?
And more importantly, there's another factor to consider: what if you found someone better than that guy and you end up marrying him? Even worse, what if HE found someone and break that promise to you?
In that case, start visiting the pet stores to look for cats.
I think this is an interesting matter, no? You, who are reading this, whoever you are, have you ever been in this situation?
You don't have to post a comment- I probably don't even know you. Maybe you're just stumbling into this blog by accident.
But I really wanna know. I ended up not giving advises to that friend of mine; thankfully, she wasn't expecting any. She just needed to unload.
It's funny how much we expect from the opposite sex but at the same time we don't expect anything from them either, huh?
Which is fine by me; I enjoy that.
I suddenly remember a certain case where one of my close friends sat me down to talk about a particular topic. She has this...I don't know what you call it; an endless fling? They went out once but broke up but still maintain good friends now. Like, really good friends. I know them both well since we all hang out together but the guy's older than us.
My friend told me how she recently had a serious talk with the guy about the future and they ended up making a promise: if by the time she turns 30 they aren't seeing anyone, they'll get married. Kinda like Chandler and Monica in an old episode Friends, where he said "If you won't be married by 30, what do you say we live together?" and she responded, "Why wouldn't I be married by the time I'm 30?"
And Chandler replied "No...I meant hypothetically...", to which she said, "Okay, well, hypothetically, why wouldn't I be married by the time I'm 30?"
Or something like that. It always made me laugh.
Well anyways.
This friend of mine was kind of ecstatic about her and her guy's decision--because I could tell they still feel something so strongly about each other. But I did not fully share her excitement.
What do you think?
When a guy proposes that to you, should you feel flattered or offended? In a way, yes,you feel relieved. The guy you really care about has no plan to abandon you, not even in the future. No matter what happens, you will never be living a lonely life surrounded by forty cats. No mattr how hard you screw up,someone's gonna be there to take care of you. That must be a very nice feeling indeed.
But in a way, Monica was right. Why wouldn't you be married by the time you're 30? Are you so undesirable that you repel man from marrying you?
And more importantly, there's another factor to consider: what if you found someone better than that guy and you end up marrying him? Even worse, what if HE found someone and break that promise to you?
In that case, start visiting the pet stores to look for cats.
I think this is an interesting matter, no? You, who are reading this, whoever you are, have you ever been in this situation?
You don't have to post a comment- I probably don't even know you. Maybe you're just stumbling into this blog by accident.
But I really wanna know. I ended up not giving advises to that friend of mine; thankfully, she wasn't expecting any. She just needed to unload.
It's funny how much we expect from the opposite sex but at the same time we don't expect anything from them either, huh?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)