how white should a lie be?

That was not meant to be a racist question, by the way.
I was wondering; at what point do you think you can tell a lie without feeling guilty? I mean, of course lots of you never feel guilty when lying-it's for your own sake, so you don't think about other people's feelings. What's interesting is, we have something that we call a white lie. Which happens to be the kind of lie you can tell if it's for other people's sakes.
The question is, who said it's about other people? White lies, apparently, are allowed to do because you have to lie in order to protect the people you care about.
Okay let's check. Situation A. You have a bestfriend named Jane and you know her boyfriend, too, named Jack. One day, you see Jack cuddling up with a girl who is definitely not Jane. You've been best buddies with Jane since kindergarten, and when she said she's been having problems with Jack and asked you whether you knew anything, do you not tell her? I mean, really, is that what you call a white lie?
If you think that by telling her "no, i really don't see anything weird about jack" you are telling a white lie and therefore doing it for your best friend's sake, think twice. That only means you let her go on and live in a relationship like a stupid fool who doesn't know anything, and keep getting hurt by that scum Jack.
Anyway.
Really, I was just curious. I think, though, there are three kinds of people that you should never, ever lie to: lawyers, communication people, and moms.
I proudly claim that I do know when people lie. Haha. It's fun watching people squirm. Communications people will absolutely know when you're lying. Because we do study about deception theories, haha. We have to learn about lying in order to pass that class, for God's sake. Even if you think you've made perfect sense when you lie, we tend to see right through it. And as for lawyers, well, I don't think I can even stand straight if I have to see them face to face.
I wonder if people can go a month without a lie; not even the white ones.
Another thing I'm curious about: movie endings, especially fairytale ones. Don't get me wrong, I do like happy endings - hey, i'm not that bitter. But sometimes I wonder, who gets to make the decision to make that ending, you know? I mean, what if after Cinderella and the Prince get married, she goes back to scrubbing the floors instead of living happily ever after? Maybe even the Prince himself turns out to be a total jackass and gets fat because he drinks every night and cheats with Cinderella's stepsisters. I mean you know, the possibility is endless. Anyone care to make a sick, twisted version of Cinderella : The After-Tales? :D
By the way where did all my comments goooo ? :((( my friends said they couldn't post comments. Does blogger.com NOT know that my most favorite part of creating a blog is when I read comments? >:(

shrine for the skywalker

Hayden Christensen must be one of the most good-looking men to walk on earth.
He even beats Jude Law, and if you know me really well, then you'll know that it's a huge thing for anyone to beat Mr. Law!
I am a Star Wars aficionado (a college term for 'geek') which means I've noticed Hayden since years and years ago, but really, a guy doesn't get better looking than that, tsk. A lot of people dislike him because of his "lack of acting skills", but in this case, I don't care, mwahaha. Jumper will be on StarMovies tonight, and I can't wait to see it again.
I wanted to post a photo of him here but lost track of time instead, googling his pictures, so I'll just let you do that yourself. And then you will see my point and agree with me that Rachel Bilson is the luckiest little thing, *sigh. They do make a really great couple, don't you think?
I haven't watched Awake, because I heard the movie's a bit gory but I still wanna watch Mr. Christensen in it, ;) haha. this is turning out to be like a celebrity gossip blog or something.
Anyway, on a much more normal note, I have just finished reading a Cecilia Ahern book called Thanks for the Memories. Brilliant. Not the best novel I've read or anything, but it is far from disappointing. It's really beautiful, the way she writes, and I don't know...the book just makes you think.
The story revolves around Joyce, a woman living in Dublin who's just had a miscarriage and therefore lost a huge amount of blood and experiences a great deal of pain and loss. The miscarriage ruins her marriage so she lives with her father.
In another part of the world (well just London to be exact) a guy named Justin is donating blood against his own will in a Donate Blood Weekend or something at a college. He's a visiting lecturer for arts & architecture.
Well the story moves on, telling about each of their lives separately with no connection at all, each living their lives as usual. Until one day, Joce starts having dreams about picnics with a little blonde girl in a park, and suddenly Joyce knows a lot about architectures like you wouldn't believe. Shocking everyone, she suddenly could speak Italian, Latin, even French. She knows about places, museums, buildings she's never been to before. And then, when Justin has to give a lecture in a college in Dublin, they accidentally meet.
She feels like she's known Justin even though they never met, and he feels the same way too. And the way the author writes is funny-one time Justin was havign dinner with his brother in London, when he suddenly choked and reached for water. In Dublin, Joyce, who was eating with her father, sudenly experienced a loss of air and gasped for air; it's like they were somehow connected.
I won't spoil the rest of the story, but the point is it turns out that Joyce was the one that received Justin's blood donation, therefore she is now seeing things through his eyes, his experience, his memories. You should go buy one and read it (or if we know each other that well, I could lend it to you) because it's filled with moments that make the hair on your arms stand up in pleasure.
Now, I know this is fiction and all, but again the way the author writes is simply unbelievable. Makes you think if it really happens like that with blood donations. Cecilia Ahern is the one who wrote P.S. I Love You, the one that got turned into a movie. She also wrote Rosie & Alex (I just learned that the name changed into Where Rainbows End) where I first fell in love with her work.
This is an excerpt from the book that I found quite amusing/useful:

"Deja vu is French fr 'already seen' and it describes the experience or feeling that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously. The experience is most frequently atributed to a dream, although in some cases there is a firm sense that the experience genuinely happened in the past, Deja vu has been described as remembering the future."

Now there you go, fo those of you who've been secretly wondering what deja vus really is. My, I love that book. And I also love it because of the art/architectural facts scattered all over the book. :D

I've got to go eat now; hey I wonder why my blog comments sometimes disappear? =S
Well anyway, I'll be working on it. See you people in the next entry!

happy election day!

I didn't vote, but before you go all crazy on me, it wasn't because I didn't want to. Strangely enough, I did want to. My family just hasn't been registered, what with being newcomers at Sektor 3A Bintaro. I will vote for the presidential election , don't worry. Yes, come to think of it, the only times I feel like my nationalism is soaring high is only during two things: elections, and when I perform traditional dances onstage. That's about it.
So I've been thinking quite a lot lately-I think that when I really really want something I shouldn't just stand by and whine to other people about it. Instead, I should do something about it, something that no matter how small, can help me achieve my goals. So, ladies and gentlemen, I am planning to enroll in a culinary school sometime in the future. Perhaps after I graduate? I don't know. All I know is that my dream is to open a restaurant when I'm older. Wish me luck :D
The only things I have made so far are cookies and cakes and cupakes. Messy, ugly icing on it, too. I gotta learn how to decorate cupcakes. But there are so many cupcake outlets in town nowadays that I feel the business is going stale. I gotta find something new :D
I have my own recipe book; I write them down from the recipes I found online, and then I try to make it one by one but still, I'm not in the big league yet. I haven't even tried to make cheesecake. It's kind of hard to find pie crust in grocery stores in Jakarta, I think. And I haven't got the skills to make the pies from scratch, too.
Other than cakes, I love making appetizers, but I still haven't explored that area much either. Come to think of it I'm just big on talking and never actually do it. I gotta change that about me. =P
Anyways, you know one of the things I hate the most on Facebook, aside from people shouting unimportant stuff?
It's when someone adds me randomly. But that's still normal, what I hate even more is when that someone suggested that I should add someone else--another person I don't bloody know. I mean, I didn't even accept you as a friend, why the heck are you suggesting another stranger for me? Tsk. The stupid things people do.
Anyways, a new marketing strategy has been booming during this election madness. As Starbucks put it, if you care enough to vote, we care enough to give you a free cup of coffee. It motivates the young and hip crowd to vote. And it does give value to the coffee shop. I thought that was brilliant.
Until everyone starts doing it. You get 10 % off at Aksara if you vote. You get 50 % off for an entry to Dufan if you vote. You get discounts at Matahari Dept Store if you show your purple-d pinky today.
Well, it is still good strategy. I haven't heard anything like that before. Unfortunately, I have not been registered yet so no free stuff for me this year. I'm lucky Starbucks is "only" giving away black coffees. I mean, if they're giving out vanilla steam milks for free today, I would've dipped all my ten fingers into the ink and march straight up to the nearest counter I could find :D

remembering jade santoso

Isn't it funny how when you hear someone pass away, you say 'innalillahi' and that's it ? Isn't it funny that you never stop for a moment to think about how that person's mother, father, siblings, friends, lover, must have felt? What are they doing now that the person they loved, the person they used to see everyday is gone? Isn't it funny how you never think about how much a simple death affects everybody?
When it's your friend who passes away, it's different.
I met Jade on our first day in UPH because we were in the same class. The first thing I noticed about her was how carefree and how beautiful this American-Balinese girl looked. We got to talking and I was impressed by her music and movies taste because we had quite a lot in common. The right word to describe her would be unique. Unusual. And always, always in a good mood. You just couldn't help liking the girl-her smile was infectious, she always bounced here and there, and literally never got anything bad to say to anybody. Every guy thought she was the prettiest girl in campus and girls wanted to be her. To be able to always look so put together and so effortlessly cool in any style of clothing she wore.
Despite the fact that we grew apart and hung out with different circles, I kept in touch with her because she also majored in PR and we had a few same classes. She would ask if I were still with Nugi and expressed her awe saying that wow, you guys have been on for so long, wasn't it only your first month with him when we met in 2005? Stuff like that.
You would never see her frown. She would always greet people here and there, flying to one table to another in Benton, spreading her charms unintentionally. Always being incredibly nice and helpful.
Which was probably why hundreds of close friends came by to her funeral on Sunday night.
I still find this unbelievable. Why Jade? Why take the most vibrant girl in campus-the one that was so full of life ?
Isn't it funny how one day you're still talking and laughing with one friend and the next day you're talking about her in past tense?
I dreaded writing this post, since my eyes still felt warm everytime I remember staring at her beautiful, peaceful face lying in the casket. I can't imagine how her family and boyfriend must have felt.
It was a grey and cloudy day today at Karawaci. We sat at Benton feeling something was missing and we talked, we laughed, we cried, remembering her. One friend of mine even said that in any minute, Jade was going to spring up and yell "Gotcha!" and we would all be relieved that it all had just been a nightmare.
But it wasn't. And she didnt.
A fatal car crash had taken her beautiful soul away at such a young age. She never even got the chance to finish school, for God's sake. I wish nothing but the best for her up there. As my friend said, we all should dry our tears because she's in a better condition right now and that she would have wanted us to smile.
Ila said something to me today that made my mind kind of freeze and think. So this is what it feels like to have lost a friend, she said. And the worst part is, we're bound to experience this over and over gaain, as one by one, the people that we love is taken away from us. One funeral after another. One memory after another.
Would we have enough tears? For all our loved ones? Would we ever get used to this? Should we not have so many close friends, so we wouldn't have to go to so many painful funerals?
Everything seems so little and unimportant right now, after what I experienced Sunday night. People breaking up, people worrying about where they should go on weekends, wondering what to wear...hey, there's a whole other life out there.
Jade, if you only knew how many lives you touched, how many people flocked to the funeral, how many prayers were with you during your coma. But in a way, maybe she did. All my thoughts and prayers are with her family and loved ones right now. The expression on her mother's face was the first scene that made me break down in tears at the hospital. No mother should ever bury her own child. Ever. Nobody deserves that.
I'd prefer closing this post with a positive note. All of you who's reading this, please be thankful for what you have. That your family is complete. That you have your bestfriends surrounding you at the moment. And one more thing; have you been craving to try something in the past few years? That new restauant, those bungee-jumping stuff, that backpacking trip you've always dreamed going with friends or partner? Do it now.
If there's anything to learn, it's that you'll never know what's gonna happen to you in a matter of seconds. Life's too short for second-guessing, for "if only"s, for "I wish"s.

Always drive safe, everyone. Please, take care of yourselves- for your sake and everyone else's.
Goodbye, Jade, we'll see you up there one day, yes? =)

trendy train trends

I don't feel good and I wanna go home. =(
My tummy hurts like hell and my throat is really scratchy aaargghhhh. I hate being sick. Hey I started a breakfast trend today at mmy beloved morning train. I sat there just staring out the window and suddenly I felt really hungry so I reached for my bread and began chewing hungrily.
And then people began staring at me like I'm some kind of a snotty little kid.
(I did have a runny nose due to my flu, but hey! That wasn't intentional.)
So I stared right back at them and kept on chewing and chewing, I mean, there's no rule that says I can't eat at the train, right ? So I kept enjoying my bread.
And just like that, one by one, three other people began to shyly let out their wrappers and boxes and nibbled at their breakfast.
Ha!
Anyway. Is it just me, or this year's presidential election is still not effective enough? I mean, when people ask me who I'm gonna vote for on April 9th, I still have no idea. And from what I have learned, when your customers cannot recall your brand, you're destined for damnation. If you ask me hey what's your favorite shampoo? I wouldn't hesitate to say Herbal Essences because I like its scent and what it does to my hair.
Now, I can't say I care enough about how Prabowo or SBY smells and what they do to my hair, but at the very least I can recall what party they're from, what's the symbol, what's their message and their campaigns.
And I can't. So it's either my fault for being such an ignorant wuss, or Indonesia's future leaders still don't know how to 'market' themselves.
I believe it's the later option. Because it's not my fault I'm being ignorant; hey, if you're good, you will reach your whole audience even the ignorant ones. That's your target. So don't blame me,, all right, I might not have a high level of nationalism but I still care and I want to be reached. So there. That's your job, candidates.
Hey new member of train gang: BB Kings. Two middle-aged men always hovering and typing their BlackBerries away. Their conversation types would be:

BB King 1: ...too many fake Bolds nowadays.
BB King 2: yeah but you can just look under the batteries to find the authentic PIN numbers.
BB King 1: I'm thinking of Storm.
BB King 2: yeah they're good. Bold's still good though. This Curve is getting boring and stale compared to Storm.

..and they go ooon and oooon and oooon. They were there yesterday and today as well.
I have to get back to work, I will update later peoples! And hey, happy weekend-ing! =)

better to be kept in the dark rather than to be blinded by the lights.

I proudly claim that I came up with that. Haha. Suits your mood, right, Ila? ;)
How's everyone doing? This morning on the train I met a baby-faced Brandon Flowers and believe me, it doesn't look as good as it sounds. Sorry =S
Grand Dad was there, Nice Old Fella as well, the usual gang, you know-and thank God FBI Agent was absent today. I don't know what he's up to but let's hope it's something positive.
I'm at the office at the moment and the sun is merciless outside, shoot.
So I haven't been exactly crazy with school lately. I mean , I only go there twice a week now for Leadership and Internship Seminar classes and I so dislike the first one. The lecturer's allright, and it revolves around social stuff which I usually dig but I don't know, maybe the people aren't right.
This weekend I'm planning to go to KFC Kemang with Nugi for a birthday party of triplets :))) I mean, some people are lucky as hell. I've always wanted to have twins, and I can't imagine the pleasure of having triplets !!! I mean, obviously it's madness when they all wail and scream at night, but when you look at their little angelic faces sleeping and snoring peacefully in the crib, I mean, wow :) I want twins. I want a pair of girl and boy, or same-sex is also fine. I'd just love to raise a pair of cute lovable twins; buying cute matching baby suits, strollers, ooooh ! I love the works. :) amen to that.
But to get on the marriage matter--that's for another post. Don't you dare ask me when I'm gonna get married because hell if I know. My mind changes like a lightning bolt every minute anyway. I swear I'll dedicate a post for it one day =P
Anyways, referring back to my earlier post about me and my big mouth, well I just remembered how much I loathe Crocs and people who proudly wear them.
With the way things have been going lately, I wouldn't be surprised if you caught me walking somewhere with a bright neon green pair of Croc sandals.

*shudders
I seriously , honestly, HATE them. It doesn't do you any good (unless of course you're trying your best to look like a fool, in which case you succeed), it doesn't look good and it's way overrated/overpriced.

My throat is really scratchy today :( Hey by the way people in the US are going completely mad, what with the murders , school shooting, drive-by shooting, killing their own families and stuff argh!

Chami, come hoooooome !!

my train family tree

I love riding the morning trains.

I've been doing that for 3 months now, ever since I began my internship. And i love it. Not just because it's squeaky clean and well air-conditioned, but mainly because I can watch people. Observe them. And then laugh behind their back.
Seriously though, 3 months is a very very long time and I think I've known my train people well enough. I mean, all these times I actually have secret nicknames for them.
Let's start now, shall we?
First off we have a semi-old man who looks like my physics teacher in high school. He hais this aura of knowledge and charm and wisdom when he walks through the crowd in the station. He always has on a Grand Indonesia ID card hanging 'round his neck, and he seems to be the 'old man on campus' type. Knows everyone, greets everyone, pats the beggars on their backs, you know. Let's call him Grand Dad (get it?? Because he works in Grand Indonesia and--oh well, i love puns.) Grand Dad seems nice.

And then there's David Archuleta. Seriously. The guy's young and always has on a postman bag and sits alone near the door bobbing his head to his earphones. Looks kind of gay actually, sorry, but still nice. At least he's not annoying.
Then we have ibu-ibu pejabat or let's just call her Madame. I actually don't think she's a DPR housewife or something but she dfinitely looks like it. Assumptions: always blabbing with her gal pal, her hair in a big updo, her clothes filled with vibrant colors.
And then we have a pair of college girls who always talk and laugh in loud voices so people could listen to what they did on weekends. Type of conversation:

Girl 1 : ..so last Saturday night I was, like, totally wasteeeddd but you know, like..
Girl 2 : EhmyGaawwd you didn't! *shrieks*
Girl 1 : I so totally did! *giggles* and then this guy came and he was like, all over me! Totally hot.
Girl 2: *gasps* How aweeeesome's that?
Girl 1: Totally!

Totally made me want to push them off the railways. I actually even know what Uni they go to, but let's not mention it here ;) Hint: I heard the girls that go there are no different than Barbie One and Two, so, no surprise there.

And then we have Classy Chick. She's this tall, slender mid-twenties who always looks so put together and so well-dressed. She rides the train alone, and she seems tough. I like her. I like her shoes, actually. =P Even only in pants, heels and shirt, maybe because she's tall and thin, well, it looks very classy. Good job.
Moving on, we got Lion Airess and Perv Guy Who Hits On Lion Airess. Let me explain.
About a month ago, I stood in front of a young girl with Lion Air Training uniform. She looks decent enough, but the man beside her, well, I do have this ability to tell which ones are the good ones and which ones are bad, and I could tell you that the man was up to no good. I mean, he sat waayy too close to her and asked her a lot of lame questions to which she often replied with a nervous laugh. Poor girl. I did give the Perv a death stare , but the man was clueless, of course. It's been a long time since I saw them, actually.
Let's hope the girl's okay =S
There's also a man that looks exactly like my communications research method lecturer. I mean, it's a splitting image,seriously. I hope my teacher isn't so tech-savvy so he wouldn't stumble upon this blog.
And today, ladies and gentlemen, I met an FBI Agent.
Don't laugh.
It was terrfying, let me tell you. He was a newcomer so when he stepped into the train, we all looked in. He was dressed in jeans, boots, jackets, cap and get this: shades. I mean, I guess when you're abroad it's okay to wear sunglasses indoors. In Indonesia, you will be hunted down and flagged down as a terrorist. And not to mention the combat boots he was wearing. He also had this cheek stubble--I was mortified. We couldn't tell whether he was closing his eyes or not because of the dark shades. He sat sulking near the door , watching people as they pass by.

Hey, all negativity aside, maybe he was observing people just like me.
Last but not least, we have Nice Old Fella. He's my friend. Seriously. First time I talked to him was to thank him for giving up his seat for me. And one day, when a passenger got off and I was about to take her seat, a guy beat me to it and sat down.
What a jerk. I mean, there are posters all over that says YOU HAVE TO PRIORITIZE THE ELDERLY, THE WOMEN, AND THE KIDS to sit. But oh well. Nice Old Fella shook his head in disbelief, and we shared an "eh, what can you do?" look. So we got to talking and else.
I still have many train characters I wanna share with you, but let's do that later. My tummy is grumbling mercilessly and it's lunchtime :D
See ya later, aligator!

ps: To protect the innocents, I think it's best that I don't mention the details of my train schedule ;)